Yeah, I know. I owe you
whispers episode 8. I am going to deliver it and
Just keep it locked in.
thematronwrites is launching
tonight and we will finally say a bye to debbieshizzles. ( I will miss that
name sha…J ) Plus I will be saying a little thanks to my readers for
encouraging me to keep writing stories. It is going to be my little way of
paying you guys back for the time you dedicate to reading my stories and
leaving a comment. Y'all are awesome.
Watch the space and save the
address. See you soon.
Barka De sallah to all my
muslim sisters and brothers. So sorry this is coming late, just had loads of activities. And because I love y'all, I created some time for this. :)
I am sure you all had a blast;
for me - I don’t know what to say- it was just there. I guess it was more reflection
time for me than wining and dining and dancing. I could give you the gist later
J - could o because I know una too like gist.
Trust you all are doing great. The last episode of Whispers won't be coming in today. We regret this deeply. This is as a result of the blog revamp process going on, whatever I post here won't be carried forward to the new blog TheMatronWrites, so we thought it is best that we wait and post it directly to the new page. So sorry for that. I decided to call on Amope to give us gist while we wait for TheMatronWrites to come on board. Enjoy below one of Amope's hilarious gists.
My People, this
last Sunday’s thanksgiving service should have been dedicated to me strictly; my dance to the Lord didn’t
have Part 2. I danced it all. Mehn, it was a close shave, na God saved me. I
used to think I’ve got brains but now I know that na God dey favour me. The bloke from my past almost put me in trouble, na small remain. Hang on for the full gist.
Last week Saturday, I was loafing around the house
nothing in particular to do. The girls had gone back to school and
Dekunle left the house very early to see a client. I’m beginning to suspect that guy, always
going out on weekends these day- I will be needing a car tracker
soon. I wonder why we no get Cheaters Nigeria. We sha have dub
everything; Idols, Deal or no Deal, Temptation Nigeria, Don't forget the
lyrics. Anyways, out of
boredom, I put a call through to Bimpe, the only unmarried one of us. She has
many escapades and at times it's just fun to roll with her.
oremi mo wa o,
you just bone my side. One day sha me
sef go marry”
“Sharrap there jor, I don match-make you for two people , you said they
are dulling you, enjoy your spinsterhood”
gan ni, why you call abeg?”
a very tapping lady, she is 35, two years younger than I but
mehn, we flow well like river. She has a killer figure, doesn’t look 35
at all, more of 28. She is so social, she has connections to some celebrities
and will go for their functions and events. You will see her on Bellanaija,
on Genevieve magazine and the likes. And she is one of those they will put
below their picture ‘a friend’…lol. They no dey popular....hehehehehe
:), public no know them heheheheh. But photographers can't ignore, she is too pretty and her
fashion sense is on point. She is hot and spunky (my friend shai’s slang).
bored jare, any event planned for today?” I
wan roll with the babes…that’s so cool.
Wey your husband?”
“No dey call me Joke, u no dey hear word. Dekunle is out to see some clients, oya tell me wetin dey happen?”
a parrie at hand o"
My dulling nerves woke
up, I like parties I swear, especially at times like this when I’m dead bored, na our blood e dey, awa omo ijebu alare *wink. Sharply, I
showered and dressed to my teeth, Omo, I looked so fab knowing that
Bimpe will look super fab. I wore
a black lace gown which fitted me well, not before wearing my shape enhancing
body magic :) I matched it with my hot red Louboutin. My human hair bonded in a doughnut, my make up
was on point. I
snapped myself and sent the pix to Dekunle.
to? Thought you said you don’t have a plan to go out today”
now sweetheart, going out with Bimpe to Adetola Utuang’s birthday party”
Adetola Utuang is a Nollywood celebrity trending
fast and with the way she is going, the top go be her abode. You know how it
is, the more you bare, the famous you get. I won't be shocked to see her
picture on a blog with caption; TOPLESS
ADETOLA. We sha must survive....na wa.
they invite? Bimpe or You”
be un-nice Dekunle, It was Bimpe but I will crash"
no let bouncer kick you out o”
quickly discharged him before he kills my high spirit.The
freedom I have when the girls are in school ehn….e no get part 2.
was a blast, I saw some celebs,Bimpe
and took pictures with them.That Bimpe na case believe me. She was just smiling even when unnecessary.
As a married woman, I stayed put and took someBaileys in ice. I was
having a blast while watching Bimpe with her flirtations. She was just opening
her teeth to all the men and they returned the favour,they
didn’t have much choice.
and Wizkid’s sexymama was on play and I was really feeling like one. I
shook my body to the rhythm. Then I heard a husky voice behind me.
will do better on the dance floor Joke Oloowokere”, even before turning I knew it
was someone from my past. And the voice sounded familiar, could it be who I am
thinking? I asked myself. The voice was the same. I was shocked to my marrows
to see who it was. It was Percy Martins, the bloke from my past. He occupied
Bimpe’s empty seat. Let me give you the gist of Percy.
many years ago, I was working with a well established courier
company on the Island. My friend at the time, Yinka Ajala was selected also, we were fresh and bright (trust me naw) and not expensive to have on the payroll. While Yinka
was so into the job trying to impress, I wasn't. How
I for do now, on top N15k salary?
staff bus stopped at the office car park at exactly 8.20am; Mondays, Rush,
Traffic should be synonyms. I raced through the staircase, couldn’t wait for
the lift as I was late already. I got into my office panting like I just raced
100 metres. I had not applied make up on my face, I planned to log on, and then
hit the convenience to paint my pretty face. As I logged on to Outlook, a reminder
popped up. A meeting had been scheduled on Friday for 8am Monday morning.
Yepa, how did I not remember? And my naughty friend and colleague, Yinka
stopped over at my house after church service the previous day and didn’t
remind me. Everything na competition for
her. I saw her bag on her desk so I knew she was around and in the meeting
room. I hurriedly picked my notebook and headed to the meeting room.
All heads turned towards the door to see the latecomer, aprokos. I was about apologising for my lateness when my boss said,
“No worries Joke, sit down”. I looked across the room and saw Yinka. She was
looking very pretty, then I remembered I was with no make up. Bad market! Oversabi Yinka wey no fine before come fine
pass me. When I settled in, I did a quick check of all the attendees and
then I saw a stranger! A very handsome stranger he was. How could a man be so
sinfully well-favoured? I did a rough guess.
Age – maybe
status – Single (there was no ring on his finger and no mark that it has ever
– Williams, Dennis, Peters, Bright, Cole or maybe Shakespeare ..whichever I no mind
did the usual; Mrs Adejoke Williams,
Mrs Adejoke Dennis, Mrs Adejoke Peters, Mrs Adejoke Bright, Mrs Adejoke Cole,
Mrs Adejoke Shakespeare…..
anyone have a comment or question?” Mrs Ore asked.
startled, my mind was far away in the Dubai desert, with my hands locked in Mr
Bloke’s, our toes in the sand.
questions ma,” we murmured.
the sakes of those that came in late; Mr Percy Martins here is on a six months
contract from IBM. He will be assisting us on the modelling of the new
software, the platform it will operate and he will……………………………………” I switched
off already while she repeated all she had said when I wasn’t there. I just
nodded along like I was following. If I didn’t switch off, I would have forgotten the
name. Mrs Adejoke Percy Martins.
Father! What a perfect combination.
the meeting, I went over to Yinka’s desk to have a little chat.
na wa for you o, you were with me yesterday and you no remind me of themeeting”
now, I didn’t remember myself. I was just
lucky to arrive at the
dey go for the Monday meeting before now, so why she inviteus for this one? Abi she don forget we be Industrial
to introduce the new guy to us”
that guy hot”
Joke, can we work this morning and can talk about him later”
Onise.”, I felt slighted but na true sha; na early Monday morning, make
lunch hour, and I sent a chat to Yinka asking if she was ready. She replied No
that she had a deadline to meet. I thought, what could be so important,
no be IT we both be?
let it pass. I got
to the canteen, ordered my food and as I sat to devour, guess who I saw. The
busy one! And she wasn’t alone, she was with the bloke. Apparently, she wasn’t busy;
she wanted me to leave so she could come alone with the bloke. She liked him
too. I became very jealous and angry. She just smiled at me as they passed. I
forced a smile back. They got their food and didn’t come to sit at my table,
they chose a different table. Can you imagine?
continued for a month and I practically lost my friend to my crush. They do lunch together,
they come to the office together and leave together. All efforts to get Percy
Martins’ attention was futile. And I liked the guy! *coversface*
one day, I was rushing to join the staff bus when I saw the bloke sitting alone
at the reception playing with his phone. He was apparently waiting for Yinka
who was held up by God knows what. He looked impatient like he was tired of
forgot about the staff bus I was trying to catch, he had not seen me then so I
rushed to the bathroom and retouched my make – up. I rushed back and luckily still met the
"Guess you are waiting for your girlfriend"
that smile that made my knees weak
and said, "one of my
girlfriends". I thought
that was a joke.I sat beside him and engaged him in some
rants. I told him he was cute and I won’t mind being his friend. (Even I was
shocked to hear myself say that!). He allowed me talk while he listened looking
directly into my eyes.
"Ok, ..ehn......lady, (my head banged, he didn’t even know
my name or wanted me to think so )….you really have made good effort. I admire
your courage to say this. And because of that you can join the queue, you are
after the boss. I guess you’ve earned yourself a piece of the cake. You
can have a bite but it is definitely too much for just you", he grinned.
he said this, Yinka came out apologising to him. "Sorry I kept you waiting; she grabbed him
by the hand and whisked him away not before saying a dry 'Hi
"Me hi Joke, mo ti suffer", I thought. And to cap the insult, I missed
the bus and he had to zoom past me as I was trekking down the road. Proud
bastard, faworaja. I felt like
burying myself in the ground. I was ashamed.
since that happened, I avoided him and was glad when his contract lapsed and he
had to leave. He reminded me daily before he left that the cake was still
available for me. He was a player.
was sitting in front of me, and after many years I still feel stupid. And the
idiot brought it up during our conversation.
“Joke, you are really looking gorgeous”
Percy, you aint bad yourself. How are you?", I acted like the matured woman I am, you know now :)
fine and can definitely be better…You know..I still got your cake”. I
smiled knowing exactly what he meant.
I definitely do not take left over, I am sure the cake has moulds already”
wanna try some”. The naughty man was flirting with me.
you please just leave, I am a married woman now, a respectable one”
wanted this cake badly years back”
God I didn’t have a bite; I probably will still be treating STD”
That got to him, I smiled.
you saying that to feel good, are you still hurting?”
would I when I have a bakery at home and I span out cakes and pastries at will?”
taste the same. I will still keep your share; I could increase the size as I see you
have a bigger taste and a larger appetite now”
beyond yourself Percy, you are still a proud jerk just as I remember.”
saw Bimpe coming and I hurriedly dismissed the bloke, I knew Bimpe would raise
it afterwards but I didn’t care. She could have my piece of the cake!
home that night exhausted, I gave the Dekunle the full gist (maybe not full) and he was glad I had
fun. Then as we were on the bed preparing to sleep, my phone rang. It was an
unfamiliar number, and as a rule- we do not pick calls when we are on the bed ready
to sleep. It rang again, and then I asked, “This may be important, can I?”
you made the rule.”
sent the number a text message; ‘please send text.’ The message didn’t come in and
I dozed off. In morning I woke up and saw Dekunle with my phone, he reads Debbie’s
stories on it whenever he has time. On our way to church, I brought my phone out to
check bb status updates, and then I saw an unread message that came after I’d
slept the previous night.
Joke love, I swear I am more eager to have the cake than give. You were looking
so gorgeous today. What was I thinking back then? Damn me, I didn’t see the
potentials. Please let’s hook up. I can be your oven, yours to be Percy”.
I had my heart in my mouth. And to think Dekunle had the phone earlier in the morning and didn't check the message. Father Lord, you are amazing. What would I have said? How would I have come out clean?
how the jerk got my number!
Bimpe joined the table, he suddenly started looking for his phone. He said he
was sure he
dropped it on the table. We searched everywhere we didn’t see it, and
then he said I should please call the number. I did and it rang on his body. He
said he was sorry he put us through the trouble that he didn’t know it was in his
fooled me and I, Amope-Ade will deal with him for wanting to pour sand in my garri. I promise.
Alright jare. See you guys on the other side of....TheMatronWrites...